A Stool for Belalu

Our daycare/preschool center is affiliated with the university where we teach, so in addition to each classroom teacher, each room also has a number of university students who work there as well as other students who come in to get classroom experience while taking early childhood courses. It's a great program and has been named one of the best in the state. We've been really happy there, for the most part.

I mentioned yesterday that B's teacher told us she had ordered a stool for her and we had been taken aback, because it seemed like it was too early for those kind of adaptations. I've been thinking about it and realized that what most bothered me about it was her being singled out already, before it seemed necessary. I resolved to talk to her teacher about it tomorrow, when she went back to school.

Tonight, however, was date night, and we're very lucky that one of the center teachers lives two blocks from us. She's still a student, but her maturity level far exceeds her age. She's studying Special Education and hopes to work in our district when she graduates. Her mother was Belalu's classroom teacher until she (B) moved into the toddler room a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, she watched the kids tonight and before she left I asked her if she knew the full story about the stool, because I had some concerns.

She told me she was glad I had asked, because she'd been meaning to bring it up these past couple of days. She then explained that she was the one who had initiated the stool being ordered. There are two sinks in their room; one they all can reach with help of a small stool, though she said Belalu has to reach in more than the other kids, and another average-height one that is where the empty cups end up after meals- they have to toss them in because none can reach to place them in. I asked if only Belalu would be using the stool, and she told me that in that room, it was going to be for all of them. However, it would then move up the rooms with her, as needed. These had been my two primary concerns. She also explained that she had been very intentional when picking it out for her, so that it would have railings that she could use. She assured me that she understood how important it was that Belalu not be singled out or treated differently. In fact, she brought that up before I had a chance to ask. I know a day will come when she'll need some modifications or adaptations made for her, but I'm glad it's not here yet, and I'm so relieved to know she has an advocate keeping an eye on her when we can't be there.

22 Months: An update

Belalu is quite the toddler these days. She will emphatically point her finger at you and say "no!" in a very firm voice. She oftentimes insists on walking up and down the stairs by herself. When she can, she'll hold a railing, but if not, she'll use the wall and then swing her leg around till it's on the next step. Going down, she carefully will walk or scoot on her butt, depending on how tired she is and how high the rise is between stairs. She sometimes will pull her brother's hair or hit him when he won't share with her, but then immediately rubs the same spot and gives him kisses and hugs.  Getting her in the car seat these days is often a physical struggle, and then she has to be removed screaming from the same seat when we reach our destination. However, it's not all testing limits and gauging power. When she hasn't seen me in a couple of hours, I get a very high-pitched screech of pleasure and then an enthusiastic "mama!!!" She talks a lot, and prefers to sit and look at a book by herself rather than be read to, though that is being requested more and more, too, especially if it involves Elmo. This amazes me, because she has no interest in watching Sesame St, and has maybe seen three clips of it in her life, and yet adores all the books and toys we have that feature him. She loves to sweep and help wipe up spills (in fact I think she often creates those spills just so she can wipe them up).

When I try to sing to her, she usually puts her hands over the ears or says repeatedly until I stop, "no, no, no!" When her brother sings to her, she claps and says "yay!!" They both are working on sharing, as her interest in what he's doing grows. E has learned to ride a big boy bike now, so we lowered his balance bike hoping it would be low enough for Belalu, and I really thought it would be, but was very disappointed to discover that it's not. She's really interested in bikes, and every Tues when we leave the Y, there's a women's bike group gathering for a ride at that time. Belalu just stands there and looks at all of them. I have to pick her up and carry her away or she'd never leave.

The biggest milestone for me lately is hard to discern below, but is the best picture I currently have on my computer of her ..... pigtails!!! Her hair is finally long enough to put up! I'm trying to get her to let me pin her hair back with a barrette in the front, since she sweats so easily in the heat, and the best strategy so far seems to be putting in about five in a close row and hoping she tires of pulling them out before she reaches the last one or two. I've never been able to keep a headband on her for more than three seconds.

She's now in the toddler room at daycare, and the teacher told J yesterday that she's going to order Belalu a higher stool for the sink. I guess she wanted to put her cup in the sink by herself and couldn't do it, so another kid helped. But the way she described it, B wanted to throw it into the sink and couldn't, so we're wondering if it was more about her coordination than her height. I need to talk to the teacher myself and ask more questions for clarification. Obviously, we are happy she is being sensitive to B's needs, but we're wondering if it's really necessary right now for her to have a different apparatus already.

Besides bikes and bubbles, Belalu's favorite thing ever right now is babies. She is mad about babies. Whenever she sees one when we're out and about, she shrieks "BABY!!!!!" and runs over to pat its head or give it kisses or stick her finger in its eye or nose or mouth. Given her affinity for them, I thought she'd like the documentary "Babies," which E had seen and liked at about her age. Ummmmm, yeah.... she might be a bit obsessed. Every time she sees my computer now, she shrieks "babies!!!!" and runs over to it, repeating the word until I put it on or dissolving into a fit of tears if I don't. She won't watch cartoons, but she'll watch this for a good 30-45 minutes. One day I had taken it back to the library and she was insisting on watching it, so J found a National Geographic documentary on Netflix that she happily watched most of. I was happy she didn't like watching tv, but with her toddler moods, it has been nice to have a little peace and quiet while I prepare dinner or to be able to sit and knit while watching it with her.

So, that's our soon-to-be two year old lately. She is adored by us all, and we love witnessing her develop, even as she continues to be the sweet, independent, determined girl she's always been, just in new ways.

Sharing the Diagnosis with Daycare

We found out about Belalu's diagnosis a couple of days before we left town for a month and a half. I had already mentioned it to her daycare teacher when the Dr. suggested dwarfism at her 9 month appointment. I was in shock, because of the way he had said it to us, and it just came out in a conversation with her. So, when we got the official diagnosis, I followed up and told her it was indeed hypochondroplasia, as we had figured out. Her question to me was "Who do you want me to tell? Are you ok with me mentioning it to the students or would you prefer I don't?" (Belalu and Essie go to the Children's Center at our university, which has a strong early childhood education program. So in addition to each room having a main teacher, it also has a number of students who work there, usually for most of their time at the university, and a few other practicum students who are there a semester at a time, though some then are hired on and work there until they graduate. It's an amazing program, and has been rated one of the best daycare programs in the state.)

When she asked me that, I didn't know what to say at first. It's not like it was going to be a secret, but at the same time, I wondered, do all these students need to know, especially those that will only have contact with her for a few months? I asked J when I got home, and he said, "of course she can tell them- it's not a secret." I couldn't really say why I still hesitated, but I did wait a few days before going back and telling her that she could go ahead and mention it to the student staff. Then she asked me to repeat again the name of her condition, and I told her, but I said that all she needed to mention to the other staff is that Belalu has a bone condition that restricts the growth of her arms and legs. I also emphasized that at this time her condition would not affect her mobility in the classroom or call for special treatment. Then she said something that surprised me- the students had already noticed that her arms were short. I think I've mentioned here before how I'm so used to her proportions, that they don't seem unusual to me. If you work with children all day, however, differences are more obvious. When she told me that, I realized that I had been hesitating to give her the go-ahead, because deep-down I was thinking that if they didn't know she had a condition, they wouldn't notice she was different. Ridiculous, I know.

Essie and Belalu started back a daycare this Tuesday, and last weekend I decided to email the program director, who is also someone I interact with on campus for other things, and tell her about Belau's condition. She will likely be here through preschool, so I figured the sooner they knew, the better prepared they could be. I cc-ed the infant room teacher and attached a .pdf file of "It's a Whole New View," the parents' guide from the Little People of America's website. She responded that she didn't know about Belalu's diagnosis, and has not worked with that condition in the past, so "we can learn together." She also thanked me for sharing the guide, because it answered a lot of questions. She closed the email telling me that Belalu will surely thrive in such a great family and with the teachers there. Once in a while I still picture them all in a staff meeting, being "updated" on her condition, but I just have to let it go. Yes, people will talk about her. However, with her personality, I doubt that they will linger long on her condition. There'll just be too much other great stuff to say.